I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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