Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
