What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need a beard to bite.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
