Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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