Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this beer tastes like vomit already
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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