your parents love me but you hate me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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