Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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