I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
