he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
