eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
