i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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