you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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