I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
