how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
