im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
