Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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