i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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