Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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