so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
