you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
