K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
