so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
