i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
