I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
