I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
