angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you had me at cake vodka
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
