why didn't you poke me back
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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