youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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