You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
