Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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