Sry I called you an 8
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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