respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
