I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
