Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
