just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
