Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
