I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am available for nakedness
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
