he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
