Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
