dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
