Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
