i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Welp...herpes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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