It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
