just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
