i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your cock deserves a montage
You need Xanax blowdarts
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
