Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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