An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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