Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
