why didn't you poke me back
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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