Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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