First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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