I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
