bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
