this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
